I first learned about the technique of awareness when taking the online Astral Travel course by Belsebuub some years ago. After some time of practicing the techniques given on the course, I was able to have some conscious experiences in the astral plane and really liked the heightened state of perception I felt during those, as well as after waking up from them. I noticed, that after waking up from these experiences, I was able to keep that heightened state of awareness for some time also in the physical dimension. It was a state where I could feel that reality is multi-dimensional and I could still sense the presence of the astral dimension even though I was already back in the physical. For lack of better words, I would say I could feel the ‘magic’ around me, that kind of feeling we get when we are aware in the astral plane and feel life and beauty in everything. This heightened awareness never lasted long though, and eventually I found myself slipping back into the numb, mundane feel of life, trying hard to get to that state again.
Seeing how this worked, I made a vow to give the technique of awareness a really good go for a longer period of time and see if I can keep that feeling of wonder and magic in my daily life and also to increase the frequency of my astral experiences.
Back then, I was living about 3 minutes from a beautiful old park with all kinds of trees and bushes and a lake in the middle, inhabited by a colony of ducks throughout the year. So every single day, usually after dinner, I would go for a short awareness walk to this park. I was resolved about this and didn’t let any day pass by without my walk. I would usually walk along the lake, stopping at times, trying to get out of my mind and just ‘feel the magic’ of the park and of every little spot that captured my attention. After about a year of going there, I felt like the park had almost became a part of me. I could really feel its various spots, each had its own beauty and atmosphere. A little hill always covered with colorful leaves in autumn, a small island in the middle of the lake where the ducks lived, an umbrella-like tree, or a beautiful lake surface, reflecting all kinds of colors, reminding me of the paintings of impressionists. I am still not sure how can a place so much become a part of us or how it happened that I felt like entering my own, personal sanctuary when coming there, but it did happen and I didn’t need to push myself anymore to go there every day – I would miss the park if I didn’t. I felt like it was waiting for me, calling me to come and visit every day to see how everything is doing, and to connect with my inner self.
There was also an old man visiting the park almost as often as me at that time. He looked like he could possibly be homeless, but was always dressed clean and emanated some kind of peace, sometimes picking the mushrooms in a corner of the park, sometimes just sitting on the bench. I knew he also loved the park, and it felt as if there was a quiet communion between us, like between people who know something special, or between people who come every day to the same temple.
Then one day I experienced something new. As I was walking, I stopped as usual to ground myself better in awareness and get out of thoughts as much as possible. This time it was much easier, I could feel myself being a part of the park immediately, the thoughts were not bothering me at all. I just stood there motionless, being perfectly clear and grounded, perceiving everything around me. I saw a squirrel on a tree, and I felt like the squirrel and me are, in fact, one being/thing/consciousness, just divided into 2 bodies. The squirrel looked at me, and then came down from the tree, and started walking towards me. Slowly, it made its way under my feet, looking up into my face. We stared like this at each other for a while, with me keeping my state, until finally a thought entered my mind, telling me “maybe it has rabies, that’s why it is so tame.” At that exact point, the squirrel ran back on the tree, despite the fact that I was still motionless and nothing around has changed, except for that one thought. Only then I noticed the old man who was observing me from his bench. As I looked at him, he greeted me with a smile and I realized he was also with us there at that moment.
Amazed at the closeness I felt to the squirrel and everything around me, I intensified my efforts in getting out of the mind and feeling the magic around me. A few days had passed and I managed to get into that perfect state of awareness again. This time I was standing at a certain spot next to the lake, being immersed in the beauty of the light that was coming from my right side, with the trees being completely lit by it. I felt like I was also a part of that light, and a part of everything around me. I could not even feel myself as a person anymore, I was just there, merged with everything, in a kind of awe, with my mind being totally quiet. As I was standing there in this state, I noticed in the corner of my eye a group of ducks swimming in the lake. I saw they started swimming towards me, but I didn’t pay any special attention to them, they were just a part of the scenery. However, the ducks quickly came to the shore, clumsily made their way out of the water, and started walking towards me in a perfect, orderly line, with one duck leading it. When they came about 1 foot close, they made a circle around me, and kept coming even closer. At that point, I started losing my state, it all felt just too surreal and unbelievable. The ducks, just like the squirrel before, didn’t even feel like ducks anymore, they felt like the particles of the same thing as me. At the same time, a very subtle ego of fear entered, making me worry that they will start climbing on me or something, and what am I going to do… It was nothing big, not even formulated into a thought yet, just a feeling that wanted to develop into a thought, and I was fighting hard to keep it at bay and maintain my peaceful state. The ducks, however, started to feel the difference, leaving the circle. Yet, for a little while, I managed to regain back my state, and they started tightening the circle around me again, but then eventually I lost it, and the ducks walked away, in the same perfect orderly line as they came, one by one jumped back into the water and swam away.
These experiences proved to me that everything living is connected together in a much more intimate way than we think and by being aware we can tap into this higher reality of our consciousness.